I tried to be discreet in order to maintain my mom's dignity. I felt that she wouldn't want other people to know that she wore briefs or needed help, so I quietly did my job being careful not to talk even too much to my mom about needing to wear briefs. (I learned to call them "briefs" at the care center. "Depends" of course, is a brand name so it doesn't always apply, and there was no way I could call them diapers especially when talking to my mom.) So you can understand my mortification when my three year old looked up at my mom and said, "Grandma, you stink. You need your diaper changed." How could I chastise him? He was right, and we had said it a million times to him. I glanced at my mom to see her reaction; I don't think it even registered. That is how far gone she is at this point.
Now the Nitty Gritty:
When I was bringing mom home from the care center, I asked the CNA how often I should be changing her. She said that a general rule of thumb was every four hours. I found, however, that just like with a child it varies, and you sort of learn as you go.
I found that it was helpful to keep gloves, perineal cleaners, adult wipes and a barrier cream next to the toilet. The skin can be tender and the cleaning and barrier creams really help.
There are tons of different briefs. I tried several to find what worked best for us. Some of your choice will depend on if accidents are occasional or regular. Also, how do you put them on: lying in a bed, standing or sitting?
This aspect of care taking, as I said before, is huge. For me, it was terribly uncomfortable, at first. As the disease progresses the task grows in magnitude and becomes one of the the more time consuming parts of care giving. My three year old summed it up when he said, "Mom's [job] is to make it so Grandma doesn't stink." It is not a glamorous job.
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